Having a second child is incredibly rewarding as well as challenging. It is important to consider how you will take care of yourself whilst still attending to your older child’s needs. Essentials like sleep and nutrition are especially important - poor sleep has been linked with depression, so make sure you have sufficient support to enable you to rest. According to one mother, trying to find the time and energy to dedicate to each child can be exhausting - put pride aside and accept every offer of help.
Your older child will have a routine so aim to keep this going as much as possible, but don’t feel guilty when circumstances get in the way. Having a second baby is uncharted emotional territory and can feel different, even for both parents. One mum of two said “I've never failed at anything as much as I have at parenting - at least that's what it feels like!”. Try to acknowledge what is going well, and forgive yourself for mistakes. You are doing your best and children born into a loving environment are incredibly resilient. Finding other parents with whom you can speak openly can be validating.
Low mood or anxiety during and after pregnancy is quite common, for both parents. This can happen even if a previous pregnancy went smoothly and is more likely if your circumstances are stressful. It is difficult to ask for help, but most parents will come through this with the right support (for example: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression/#.VMat2NKUeSp). Occasionally, women may feel anxious about a second birth, especially after a previous C-section. This is a normal reaction and midwives and birth Doulas can offer support.
If you have a partner, discuss your expectations about a second child. It will be harder to find time to talk so set review points and stick to these. Your children will have different temperaments, right from the start, so discuss how this is impacting on you and think about the best approaches you can offer to each child. You can help your older child adapt by allowing them to express themselves through talk or play and encouraging them to build a relationship with the new baby even before the birth. Aim to find fairness with all your children and accept that this can also be a challenge.
Published in Smallish Magazine - March 2015
http://www.babyandmemagazine.co.uk/
Your older child will have a routine so aim to keep this going as much as possible, but don’t feel guilty when circumstances get in the way. Having a second baby is uncharted emotional territory and can feel different, even for both parents. One mum of two said “I've never failed at anything as much as I have at parenting - at least that's what it feels like!”. Try to acknowledge what is going well, and forgive yourself for mistakes. You are doing your best and children born into a loving environment are incredibly resilient. Finding other parents with whom you can speak openly can be validating.
Low mood or anxiety during and after pregnancy is quite common, for both parents. This can happen even if a previous pregnancy went smoothly and is more likely if your circumstances are stressful. It is difficult to ask for help, but most parents will come through this with the right support (for example: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression/#.VMat2NKUeSp). Occasionally, women may feel anxious about a second birth, especially after a previous C-section. This is a normal reaction and midwives and birth Doulas can offer support.
If you have a partner, discuss your expectations about a second child. It will be harder to find time to talk so set review points and stick to these. Your children will have different temperaments, right from the start, so discuss how this is impacting on you and think about the best approaches you can offer to each child. You can help your older child adapt by allowing them to express themselves through talk or play and encouraging them to build a relationship with the new baby even before the birth. Aim to find fairness with all your children and accept that this can also be a challenge.
Published in Smallish Magazine - March 2015
http://www.babyandmemagazine.co.uk/
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